Sad Story: घर गृहस्थी और धंधे नौकरी में उलझे युवक की दिल छू देने वाली कहानी

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👇खबर सुनने के लिए प्ले बटन दबाएं

काश !!!

Sad Story: मुझे थोड़ा बहुत जानने वाला करीब करीब हर इंसान मुझ से मिलने पर एक सवाल जरूर करता हैं ” यार !! तुम अकेले घर की सारी जिम्मेदारियां उठाने , सेल्स की प्राइवेट नौकरी करने के बाद भी ये सब ( लिखना ,पढ़ना ,नाटक , घूमना फोटॉग्रफ़ी , फ़िल्म और पता नहीं क्या क्या.. ) कैसे कर लेते हो ? “

और इस सवाल के बाद निकलता है खुद अपने ही अंदर दबा हुआ उनका खो गया वजूद ..!

“मैं भी बहुत अच्छा …..तबला बजाता था , गाता था , लिखता था , नाचता था ….. था , था ,था …! पर घर गृहस्थी और धंधे नौकरी में ऐसा उलझा की कुछ कर ही नहीं पाया . ” और इस “था “में कहीं गहराई में छुपा होता है एक अनकहा काश !!यकीन जानिए ये ” काश ” दुनियाँ के सबसे दर्दनाक और प्रेणादाय शब्दो में एक हैं .

अब आज जब काफी करीबी ने फिर से ये सवाल दोहराया है तो आज “.. ये सब कैसे कर लेता हूँ का जवाब देता हूँ :

” सच तो ये है कि मैंने कभी सोचा नहीं कि मैं कैसे और क्या करता हूँ और न ही मैं सोचना चाहता हूं पर हाँ मैंने कभी खुद में पलते काश !! को मरने नहीं दिया .

करीब एक दशक पहले की बात है , ग्रेजुएशन का दूसरा साल था और जनवरी के भयंकर जाड़े के दिन थे और जिंदगी अपने बेहरम दौर ( शायद ) से गुजर रही थी . रायबरेली के एक कॉलेज के रजिस्ट्रर में( जहां अब सिर्फ एग्जाम देने जाना था ) मेरा नाम तो था पर मैं नहीं . मैं तो दिल्ली की बदरपुर से पंजाबीबाग की बस में अपना मात्र एक हाफ स्वेटर पहने रोज सुबह शाम धक्के खा रहा था .

कानपुर के एक शीलन भरे कमरें की अलमारी में करीब साल भर पहले मिली ” बेस्ट स्टूडेंट ऑफ द ईयर , बेस्ट स्पीकर , बेस्ट एनएनएस स्टूडेंट की ट्राफियां और कप प्लेट धूल और मैं ” आई सी आई सी आई लुम्बार्ड ” का फोन पर ( कथित कॉल सेंटर ) सेहत वाला बीमा बेंचते हुए गालियां खा रहे थे . पहले महीने की सैलरी नौकरी लगवाने के नाम पर कंसल्टेंसी वाला ले गया था , और इस महीने एक भी “मुर्ग़ा ” न फंसा पाने की वजह से वेतन आने की संभवना न थी . सिविल सेवा या दुनियाँ को हिला देने वाले पत्रकार बनने के ख्वाब पर पर ट्राफियों की तरफ ही मिट्टी चढ़ चुकी थी . किराये और रोटी के लिए तीन दिन पहले ही सात सौ में एक ब्लड बैंक बिके गर्म लहूँ की चंद फुटकर नोट्स जेब सलामत थी और उस दिन इत्तिफाकन गलत बस में जा चढ़ा , और जब तक गलतीं का एहसास होता मैं” प्रगति मैदान ” में था ,सामने था विश्व पुस्तक मेला . पन्द्रह रुपये की टिकट ( शायद पन्द्रह की ही थी ) लेकर पुस्तक मेले में घुसा मैं जब बाहर निकला तो मेरे हाथ मे दुष्यन्त की ” धूप के साये में , कुछ प्रकाशन हाउस के किताबों की कैटलाग्स, आहा ज़िंदगी ! के आधे दाम पर मिले चार पुराने अंकों के साथ मन मे एक काश !! था . काश मैं लेखक होता .

उसी दिन बस में बदरपुर जाते जाते मन ही मन गुनी थी अपनी प्रथम कविता .

दिल्ली छोड़ कर कानपुर आना भी वैसे खाली हाथ रहा जैसा जाना था . यहाँ पहले मोबाइल ऐसेसरीज और फिर जीवन बीमा बेचने वाला बन गया . और बार बार दुतत्कारे जाने के बाद यहाँ फिर जन्म हुआ एक काश ! का काश …! में भी मैनेजर होता .

और फिर काश पर काश पर काश जन्म लेते गए कभी अपना मकान तो कभी बुलेट तो कभी कुछ और ..! और मैं सब पूरा करता गया .

लेकिन हर काश पर जाने के बाद लगा ये तो सिर्फ पड़ाव था मंजिल नहीं .

“शहर “आ कर जाना “आत्मा ” तो गांव में ही रह गयीं .

“लेखक( काश !)” बन कर जाना की हर ” शब्द ” के लिए करना होता है खुद को नीलाम .

“मैनेजर” बन कर जाना की ” बेचना ” तो खुद को ही है .

” नफरत ” करके जाना कि ये प्रेम की अंतिम अनुभूति हैं.

” दुनियाँ घूमने ” के बाद जाना अपना घर ही अनदेखा रह गया .

..लेकिन …लेकिन ( जानबूझ कर दो बार लिखा हैं ) सवाल ये की अगर ये काश !! हमने अपनी ज़िंदगी से मिटा दिया तो ? ? तो सिवाय शून्य के क्या बचेगा हामरे पास ? सिवाय ये सवाल करने के ” तुम कैसे कर लेते हो ? “

..और सुनो चंद लोगो के सिवाय किसी को कभी कुछ खुद ब खुद मुकम्मल नहीं मिला हैं . न मुझे मिला है न आपको मिलेगा . पर जहां आप है वहां आप अपने काश को कितना मुकम्मल कर पाते हैं ये आप पर है .

एक मुकाम ( देखने वालों को लगता हैं ) पर होने के बाद भी मेरे काश मुझे जिंदा रखते हैं . जैसे जब मैं आवाज उठाता हूँ अपने सुंदर शहर के लिए तो उसमें छुपा होता है काश ! मेरा गांव ..!

करोड़ो का डील फार्म साइन करते समय लगता है काश ! ये फ़िल्म स्क्रिप्ट की डील होती ..!

बुलेट में भगाते जावा को प्लान करते हुए लगता है ” काश वो मेरी स्कूल साइकिल मिल जाती .”

लँगोटिया यर को उसके जन्मदिन पर फर्जी व्हाटसअप करते हुए लगता है काश ! हम दीवाल पर साथ में सूसू करते हुऐ दिल बना पाते ..!

(बहुत कुछ है जिसे तुम अपना समझ कर समझ सकते हो जो मैं लिख नहीं सकता . )

लेकिन आप क्या हो ?

क्यों हो ?

कब तक हो ?

इस से निकल कर कर खुद के काश ! को तालशिये . .

और उसे मुकम्मल करने के लिए कोशिश करिये .और न पूरा हो तो नया काश तलाशिये . आपके सवाल का जवाब आपको खुद ही मिल जाएगा ..

और हां ! भूलना मत “काश .. ” और “जो है यही है ” के पुल बीच में जो तुम खड़े हो उसे ही” जिंदगी “कहते है . अपने हिसाब से देख लो किधर जाना है . क्योंकि सही शुरुवात अगर थोड़ी देर से भी तो कोई फर्क नही पड़ता .

काश !! सब का हर काश मुकम्मल होता .

@मृदुल कपिल

Read More..HP Election 2022: योगी ने कहा,अनुच्छेद 370 था आतंकवाद की जड़, अब देश हुआ सुरक्षित

Firenib
Author: Firenib

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